Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
