His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We talked him into tasing himself.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
