Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
