im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
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Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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