why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
