she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
