You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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