carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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