He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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