I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize