Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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