Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize