Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize