found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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