I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize