I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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