Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
