Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
