left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
