so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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