It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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