i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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