his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
