Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
