Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
