Where is the hickey?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
