I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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