I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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