Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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