Im at strip club and am horny
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
