I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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