It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
