I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
