I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
where am i from again
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
