She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
