You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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