How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize