literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
