So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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