just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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