I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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