I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
