halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
bring money and cleavage
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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