O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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