hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
