i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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