she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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