he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize