you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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