I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i now understand why vodka
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
