You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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