SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
