Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
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THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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