Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
