you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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