Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
