I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
